Just Me Luck
by Miscellaneous Thief
Summary: Private meeting a leprechaun? Kowalski and a 'Salmon of Knowledge? And what's this, a giant rat? What the heck is with all these Irish legends? Laughter ensures with my three-shot St. Patrick's Day fic. Read, re-read, enjoy, worship, review or whatever!
1. Chapter 1

Just M Luck

A St. Patrick's Day _Penguins of Madagascar _fanfic by Miscellaneous Thief

A/N: Ah, St. Patrick's Day, one of my favorite holidays. Okay, so I know it's actually the day after, but in my defense I was having to mush fun yesterday to upload this. So I guess it's 'a day late and a dollar short'. Does that mean I owe you guys a dollar? Anyway, in celebration, I decided to write three (because three is an important number in Ireland) short one-shots centered around real Irish legends/myths, penguin style.

* * *

>Disclaimer- Maybe if I catch a leprechaun, and he gives me his gold, I can use it to buy Penguins of Madagascar.<p><p>

Shot 1- Bloody Leprechaun

Private happily skipped through Central Park, cheerful as can be. It was early spring. Skipper had given him the afternoon off, and the zoo was closed leaving him free to do whatever he wanted. What else could the young penguin ask for?

He entered a clearing created by a circle of budding maple trees. It was empty, except for a single bush and a flat rock. Private was about to move on, perhaps to check on Mother Duck and Eggy and see how they were faring, when, abruptly, a bright burst of colorful light stopped him in his tracks. Appearing suddenly in front of him, was a rainbow ending at the foot of the flat that's not what shocked him the most. No, that was meager compared to the fact that appearing within the rainbow itself was a small black cauldron filled to the brim with gold. Private stared in pure awe. His mum had always told him that leprechaun gold was the best chocolate in the world, and if he should come across any of it to not waste the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Curiosity nearly killing him, he gingerly stuck out a flipper towards the gold.

"Aye! Get yer bloody paws off me gold!" Yelled a voice.

Whether it was from fright or shock, Private immediately obliged by jumping away from the cauldron as fast as he could. He whirled his head around in every direction, looking for the source of the angry voice. Then something happened that he probably would not of believed if he wasn't so accustomed to supernatural things that happened every day in his not so ordinary life- A little green faerie, not much taller than Private himself, stepped out of the rainbow, making it disappear.

"What's yer business messin' around with me gold? Aye, don ya know better than to go 'round sticking yer nose where it don belong?" He asked.

Private, still feeling like this was surreal, took a moment to reply "I-I'm sorry. I just wanted to taste a bit of it."

The leprechaun sighed "Aye, you an' every other O'Brien out there. Tell ya what, if you help an 'ole leprechaun hide his gold, I'll give ya little taste of me magick 'ere. I'd do it meself, but I'm not as 'oung as I used ter be."

"Um, alright." Private agreed "What would you like me to do?"

"Great lad! Well, the best way ter hide me gold is to bury it." He replied.

"Really? So what do I do?" Private asked

"Aye, don ya got any brains at all? I need a shovel! Can't go 'round digging holes without a shovel, now can ya?"

"Oh, I guess your right." Private said sheepishly "I'll go to the zoo's maintenance shed and get a shovel. You stay here."

"Couldn't of thought of a better plan meself lad. An' I'll jus hide me gold in that bush unter ya get back,"

So Private helped the leprechaun, who he found out was named Blarney-like the stone (_"Can't get any luckier than a leprechaun named Blarney, don ya know"_) and then was off towards the zoo. It wasn't until he was halfway back to the shed that he remembered his mum had also told him to never let a leprechaun out of his sight. She said they were mischievous faeries, and would easily trick you. Private hoped that Blarney wasn't like that, but that was to no avail when he re-entered the clearing to discover that not only was Blarney and the rainbow gone, but the clearing was now filled the brim with bushes, all exact replicas of the bush the gold was hidden in. Private sighed.

"Bloody leprechaun."

A/N: Eh, not my best fic. Hope you liked though. And do you know how hard it is to write Irish _and _British accents at the same time? I think I gave up on Privates about halfway through the fic.


	2. Chapter 2

Fic 2- Kowalski and the 'Fish of Knowledge'

All was normal in the penguin HQ- Kowalski was reading an encyclopedia, Private was watching a marathon of Lunacorns, Rico was doing an inventory of his stomach, and Skipper was going over old mission files. Nothing was out of the ordinary on this fine Sunday afternoon.

That is, until Kowalski decided to exclaim out loud "Great googly moogly!"

This, of course, caught the attention of every penguin in the room.

"What is it, K'walski?" Private asked.

"Listen to this exert I found on the great Irish warrior Fionn Mac Cumhaill " Kowalski replied "... the adventures of the famous seer-warrior Fionn Mac Cumhaill are still known to many Irish people. These include how he gained his wisdom as a boy by tasting the 'Salmon of Knowledge'."

"'Salmon of Knowledge? Who's crack-brained idea was that?" Skipper asked cynically.

"According to Irish legend, the Salmon of Knowledge grants inconceivable knowledge and wisdom to any who consume it." Kowalski read.

"Kowalski," Skipper groaned "You can't be serious. Don't remember the last time you tried to make yourself smarter with fish?"

"This is different! This has been proven to work!"

"Um, sorry to interrupt, " Interjected Private "But we are talking about a legend, right?"

"Is no one interested in gaining great amounts of knowledge?"

"Not really." "Nope." "Nuh-uh" Came the replies.

Kowalski sighed in defeat "Fine, I'll just find the fish on my own." He pouted childishly.

"Do you even know where it is?" Skipper asked.

"It's exact location is unknown at the current moment, yes. "

This time it was Skipper who sighed "Do whatever Kowalski, just be back before 2100 hours. Comprende?"

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>"Yes sir." Kowalski replied before leaving through the top hatch.<p><p>

Several hours later Kowalski returned, wearing a neutral expression. This confused the other penguins, for they couldn't tell if he had caught the Salmon of Knowledge or not. Kowalski continued walking until he reached the table, where he proceeded to sit down. The others followed in suit, curious as to Kowalski's odd behavior.

"So K'walski, did you find the Salmon of Knowledge?" Private asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes. The cryptic snake from Ireland brought me to him."

"Wait a minute, I thought there where no snakes in Ireland. Isn't that the whole point of St. Patrick's Day?" Skipper pointed out.

"Apparently that information was incorrect." Kowalski stated plainly.

"Wah bout after?" Rico wheezed.

"Well I met the Salmon, who's name incidentally is Eolas. We chatted-"

"You talked to a fish?" Private said skeptically

"For several hours, actually. Anyway, we discussed a wide variety of subjects including physics, why the bad guys always get the good stuff, String Theory, aerodynamics in flightless bird species, and our favorite math equations." Kowalski concluded.

"Did you even get to taste the fish?" Skipper asked.

Kowalski thought for about six seconds, then dumb-struck realization flashed across his face "The clever little creature! I was so caught up in talking with him I completely forgot!"

"Congratulations, Kowalski," Skipper said as he clapped him on the back "You got tricked by a smart salmon."

A/N: Well, that totally didn't turn out like I planned it. Not that I actually planned it, though. And I couldn't help but but a Saint Patrick reference in there. And yes, there actually is a 'Salmon of Knowledge', I didn't make that up.

Lol, just had a random thought: What would a Skipper x Kowalski pairing be called? A Skiski?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, so whether or not this story is true, I have no clue. Basically, a giant rat kept eating this family's food, and they were in danger of starving. The family got a cat, but when the cat met the rat, they fought in a battle that almost killed the cat. The cat disappeared for a couple of days, but later returned with a huge cat. The big cat and the rat fought all day long, the battle finally ending when the big cat killed the rat. The two cats then drank some victory milk, left the house, and were never seen again.

This story peaked my interest, and immediately made me think of the Rat King. And then I started to think about what it was like from _their _point of view. And what about the cats? And thus, this fic-let was born.

The rats story will be told in **bold. **The cats in _italics_

Fic 3- In the End, We All Hate Each Other

Deep down in the sewers, past where any human would voluntarily venture, a fair sized group of rats gathered around the Rat King, who was preparing to tell them one of their most prominent historical stories.

At the same time, gathering around Moon Cat, or as he was more known to them, Max, were several fellow alley-cats, all excited to hear the retelling of one of their greatest heroes.

Unbeknownst to either of the animals, they just so happened to be telling the exact same story at the same time.

"**One of the most horrible tales in rat history began on a regular day."**

"_The best story in cat history started on any other day. A Saturday, I think, 7:45 a.m. It was cloudy."_

"**There was this nest in Galway where a man, his wife, and four kids lived."**

"_So these human folks lived up in this place called Galway,"_

"**One morning, one of our fellow brothers named Houdini, who was starving and trying to support his family, decided it wouldn't be missed if he stole some of the human's grub. Now, Houdini just happened to be a lot bigger than most rats, like myself, so he accidentally ate all of it. Not that the human's deserved all that grub in the first place. After he was done, he left to go do his respectful business."**

"_This family was settling down to eat their breakfast, when out of the blue a gigantic rat stormed in and stole all the food! The family was scared out of their wits. And, who could blame them? I'd be terrified, too. Anyway, after the rat was done, he just up and left like nothing had happened."_

"**Seeing as Houdini was still hungry, he returned that night, following the man into the house. Once again, he accidentally ended up eating all the human's food, but he figured they wouldn't mind. If only he'd of known..."**

"_The poor human family had hoped that was the last they had seen of the rat, but unfortunately they were wrong. When the man came home, the rat followed him in and ate all their supper. The family was sure to starve if something didn't change. And that's where our heroine comes in."_

"**The next time Houdini went into the house, which was the next mourning, he was met by the likes of a she-cat! Houdini and the cat fought in an epic battle, ending with the cat running for her life like the coward she was. Houdini finished what he had come to do in the first place, and left."**

"_A cat named Karma was bought by the man to catch the troublesome rat. They fought in a great battle, but Karma underestimated how big the rat was and narrowly escaped with her life. But she wasn't giving up that easily. Licking her wounds clean, she set off to find the one she knew could kick his as-."_

"_Max!" One of the mother cats warned_

"_-trological behind."_

"**For the next three days Houdini returned to the family. It was paradise. Unfortunately, most paradises don't last long. Apparently the she-cat had left to go get a he-cat, who was twice her size. Houdini walked in on the fourth mourning, not knowing he was heading straight into a trap."**

" _It took Karma three days to do it, but she went out and found her older brother, Carlos. Carlos was angry that Karma was beaten up like that, so he decided to get even. Karma's brother Carlos was huge and good in a fight. They got back to the family, who was now starving, and set up a trap."_

"**Houdini and the he-cat stared each other down..."**

"_The rat entered the room, and all was quiet for a minute. Like the quiet before a storm..."_

"**Houdini launched himself at the he-cat first, starting the most epic battle ever. It lasted all day. Not one part of the room was untouched by them. And then at sunset, after being worn down, the he-cat killed Houdini. Not let's take a moment of silence to remember our innocent brother."**

"_Carlos attacked first. They wrestled all day long in a monumental fight. Then, just as the sun was setting, in a single fetal swoop, Carlos finally defeated the rat. The grateful family gave Karma and Carlos a bowl milk."_

"**The two killers left the house, probably to go get more rats,..."**

"_Feeling their job was done, Karma and Carlos left as heroes..."_

"_**And they were never seen again. The moral of this story?"**_

"**Don't trust cats."**

"_Eat rats."_

A/N: Welp, I can honestly this was the funnest one to write. Sorry for the lateness (I owe you guys three dollars now XD) but I kind of spent all day yesterday and Sunday playing computer games. Also, I forgot to mention this in the last chapter, but the fish's name was 'knowledge' in Irish. Thanks 'fer readin' mah fic-lets! I hope this made you smile ;)


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